Sales of wilting garage flowers and heart-shaped boxes of mediocre chocolate are set to skyrocket this weekend as the day dedicated to love approaches.
Valentine’s Day is a tradition sacred to loved-up couples (and tacky card companies) worldwide.
A recent survey shows that over 180 million V-Day cards are exchanged each year, and as a whole we spend approximately $13,290,000,000 (US dollars) on romantic paraphernalia for the occasion.
Women are particularly fond of the holiday, with statistics showing that 53 per cent of females would end a relationship if they didn’t receive a Valentine’s gift.
However, one woman who doesn’t buy into the façade is Wicklow native Jacinta Skelly.
“Well, it’s a load of shite really isn’t it, like? If a man came home to me with a box of Milk Tray to show how much he loves me, I’d tell him to shove it up his arse. Although, it’d be nice for a man to just come home to me.”
Jacinta, 33, has been single since 2011, and says that she is embracing her independent status.
“I’m not your typical single woman – I don’t even OWN a cat for starters. I’m allergic. I like to think I don’t have to depend on anyone or anything.”
Ms Skelly, who lives with her parents in Rathnew, Co Wicklow, recently started an online petition to remove Valentine’s Day from the calendar. She claims the response she has received so far has been astounding.
“It’s gotten over five hundred signatures already, I really think we might be on track to abolishing this holiday for good. It’s pure notions, like.”
You can sign Jacinta’s petition at BoycottValentinesBollocks.ie.