The foremost authority of ‘You won’t believe what happened next?’ journalism, The Journal.ie, are now cutting through the bullshit and will only accept  CVs from aspiring ‘journalists’ if they are in their favourable form of communication, the listicle.

The listicle is the leading form of click-bait material online. It is an amalgamation of the words ‘list’ and ‘article’. They are typically accompanied with headlines such as, “Ten pictures of cats who dislike water charges as much as you”, “8 times being typically Irish were captured in the marks at the top of a new tub of butter”, “6 Twitter comments that perfectly sum up old Madonna’s stage fail”, and “75 ways the internet are judging Madonna on her age because she is a woman”.

As well as being able to construct a perfect listicle, candidates must be able to refresh the Ireland Reddit page on an hourly basis to source their material for the day. A healthy dose of hypocrisy and indignation when talking about society’s behaviours will be an advantage. Also, leaning to the left on all issues, to the point that it removes all objectivity to reporting, will fast track you to the path of Head of Reddit Material Acquisition.

Another aspect which the job will entail is moderating the comment sections of the website. This will entail deleting any comments that go against the Journal’s agenda.

As this is a job in media, the norms of being an unpaid intern for six months and then let go will be applied. This means that a reasonable salary will be completely out of the question. You will also be employed on a freelance contract to stamp out any pesky employment laws. However, any articles discussing JobBridge or internships should be sympathetic to the exploitation of young Irish labour.

Best of luck. X

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