By Killian O’Boyle
In a massive blow to the recently appointed Taoiseach’s image, Simon Harris was refused service at the internal Oireachtas bar after forgetting to bring suitable identification.
Despite claims from Harris that he had left his ID at home and that the barman surely knew his father, he was ultimately refused his pint of Budweiser and was asked to leave. Harris was heard mumbling under his breath “You haven’t seen anything yet..” before being escorted out of the bar. It was reported that Harris might reappear after returning home to fetch his ID, but he ultimately stayed home after learning that a particularly good episode of the Simpsons was airing on RTÉ 2 that afternoon.
Later that evening, Harris posted a TikTok saying how important local pubs and restaurants are to the Irish economy even if they do not serve him. The Taoiseach’s opposition immediately responded to the TikTok, stating that they had never once forgotten their ID and were constantly ordering pints in the Oireachtas bar.
This wouldn’t be the first case of Harris being incorrectly identified, as during his time as Minister for Further and Higher Education, he was consistently confused as a student union member who was a little too into their position. One such incident happened during a speech he was supposed to give at Trinity College Dublin, where he was mistaken as a student committee member and asked to sweep the halls before the Minister showed up. Harris complied with the request as he “didn’t want to make a fuss.”
Harris says that he will attempt to grow a beard to alleviate problems going forward, but previous attempts have been unfruitful as he claims it gets really itchy around day three and ultimately shaves it off.