The newly crowned king criminal of suburban Dublin Paul Murphy, has launched a new public relations campaign in order to increase his national profile. The left-leaning politician began distributing the new campaign posters to the media this morning after having time to think about his role in society while being interrogated by the Gardaí earlier this week.
Murphy said, in a press statement, “Prison [forced imprisonment] is where most great minds write their greatest works or contemplate political endeavours. I have always seen myself as the Blackrock Nelson Mandela. I need to convey that message to the youth.”
“In order to do this though, I need to speak to them on a level of which they will not feel like they are being spoken down to. After flicking through Joe Duffy’s biography, I realised that sex appeal sells. And if there is one thing that I have an endless source of, that is sex appeal.”
“I instantly knew what the next step would be, and that is to show off these killer abs. I know it might raise some eyebrows among the political elite, but I need to get my name out there so I can further my interests… and to serve in the best way that represents the public’s interest.”
Murphy has been singled out in the media throughout the years as being nothing more than a sex symbol with no useful political abilities. The TD has tried to distance himself from his good looks but has now come to embrace the assets that God has bestowed to him.
The Blackrock native has been likened to Barack Obama in the past which means that his supporters have welcomed his choice to use the Obama filter on his campaign posters.
The posters are available for purchase on the Paul Murphy’s website.