Contrary to what every American coming-of-age film would have you believe; college really isn’t that different from secondary school. People say you don’t have to go to class if you don’t want to (You do, believe me, you really do), you party non-stop (Myself and your bank balance laugh in your face) and your lecturers become cool older friends you drink coffee with and laugh about how crazy that Socrates was in his heyday with (while he was a hoot, that really doesn’t happen). Much of what is portrayed in film is a fabrication or a least a huge exaggeration of what college life is actually like. Just like secondary school, you will run into some lecturers that you like, and some you don’t. And generally, the lecturers you experience in your first year of college can be categorised as follows.
The Trier:
Despite the fact that this Trier’s lecture appears to have only been attended by a child, he admirably soldiers on.
As they say, god loves a trier, but not in the case of this lecturer. Mostly found at the 9 am slots on a Wednesday or Thursday morning, the Trier if nothing else, can be likened to a frustrated kinder garden teacher. They know what’s going to be on the test. They know if you don’t learn this stuff, you wont pass your final exam, and that will reflect poorly on them. And most of all, they know exactly why you “couldn’t make it to class today”. They’re not stupid! They know you’ve either been out on the lash the night before and can’t physically motivate your still drunk body to lug itself to their lecture, or it’s just too early for our addled student brains to comprehend, i.e. You just couldn’t be arsed. But God love them, they try to teach the students that did make it to the class to love their field of study just as much as they do. They try to provide an enigmatic and thought-provoking lecture that gets you excited about learning. They really do try! Unfortunately, it always ends the same way – sign in sheets and in class pop quizzes. However, this doesn’t change the fact that people still don’t go. #PrayForYour9AMLecturers.
The “Meh”:
The living embodiment of a sigh.
The “Meh” lecturer, so named as it is their approach to everything, genuinely doesn’t give a shit. They’re there to do their job. They put the lectures on, they hand out the material, they correct what they’re given. No, they do not care if you show up for lectures. They don’t care if you come in late to a seminar, if you fall asleep in the middle of their lecture, or sit in the front row and eat your lunch. It’s really not any of their business what you do. As far as they’re concerned, it’s your job to do your assignments, catch up on the work you miss, and fill yourself in on assessment procedure. You don’t want to do the work; they won’t waste their time on you. Simple as.
The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing:
All charm on the outside, ruthless bastard on the inside.
Quite possibly the most conniving of the five, the wolf in sheep’s clothing lecturer will fool you, lull you into a false sense of security, and when you least expect it, THEY’LL POUNCE AND RUIN YOUR LIFE! They mostly take the form of the kindly looking lecturer, perhaps a slightly older gentleman or a kind faced woman. They have a laugh with your class, don’t take themselves too seriously and are generally good craic, until it comes to hunting season. That fun-loving teacher you thought you knew turns out the be the harshest graders, strictest on attendance marks and all in all just mess with your head more than you could ever imagine. They’ll smile in your face and hand you back a big fat D on your paper, and even make comments on your absence from lectures, Yes Liam, I KNOW I haven’t been here in a while. No need to point it out to the entire lecture hall! In short, beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing lecturer, they will mess with your head more than any ex you could ever have. You have been warned.
The Scholar:
A man near that many books can’t help but be a genius.
Ah the Scholar. This lecturer is usually of an intellect of a particularly high-brow calibre. They could spout Shakespeare for days or tell you what Napoleon had for breakfast on his twenty-third birthday. They are incredibly well spoken, know everything there is to know about their academic field of choice, have dozens of papers and academic journals written and published on their earth shattering findings (don’t worry, they’ll make you read them) and are basically better than you in every way. One minor hitch though, they could not teach their way out of a paper bag. I’ve found that the majority of them moves their hands a lot when they speak, are masters at public speaking, or so they think, and while it is clear that they are incredibly intelligent, their notes are more than likely going to be awful and confusing. If you don’t understand a topic, then good luck because they will sit with you for twenty minutes trying to describe to you what they’re talking about and you’ll leave ten times more confused than when you went in. The Scholar lecturer really isn’t that bad, you’ll just have to make sure you put the extra work in if you have any hope of passing.
The Cliché:
Robin Williams, portraying the quintessential inspirational teacher.
Finally, we come to the cliché lecturer. This lecturer is everything you’ve seen in all of those aforementioned movies about teachers that help you grow as a human being and all that crap. You can tell that they have a real respect for the topic they teach, and that they genuinely care about your level or understanding on said topic. They are approachable, make time for you if you need it, and are all around amazing teachers. Because you like them, you end up liking your subject, and usually do well when it comes to an assignment because through their teaching, and their approach, you want to make them proud of you and want to succeed not only for yourself but for them. Their enthusiasm is infectious, so much so that you can’t help but learn. Careful though, lecturers are like this are like star-dust. When you find one, you’ll know and it’ll be sad to see them go when you’re finished that module, but hey, there are plenty more lecturers in the sea.
Ava Hollingsworth