By Gráinne Glynn
College campuses have long been connected with social discovery, where friendships and romantic relationships have grown naturally in lecture rooms, accommodation, and society events. Yet in an ever-growing digital world, these first meetings are often not formed through chance encounters, but instead in the Instagram inbox. The app, which was initially created for sharing photos, has transformed into a social hub for college students. Instagram has changed, it’s not just a tool for documenting campus life, but it’s where connections are established.
For many people, sliding into someone’s DMs has become a normalised way to initiate contact. Whether it’s a reply to a story, a comment on a post, or a message sparked by mutuals, the move has largely replaced the traditional in-person introduction. Messaging allows users to bypass the awkwardness of in-person introductions and engage in casual, low-pressure conversations (in other words we’ve gotten lazy). In a world where life is constantly hectic and physical events (multiple partners) are hard to line up in a busy schedule, this convenience has been a game-changer is the creation of relationships.
Instagram removes geographical and social barriers, allowing students to connect with peers on their own campus, or really anywhere in the world. The informal nature of a DM makes it easier to start conversations without the fear of rejection being as immediate or personal as it might be in face-to-face situations. Unlike scheduled society mixers or events, a DM can happen anytime, fitting into the busy lives of students.
Despite the advantages, digital relationships often come with limitations that can threaten their depth and durability. According to psychologists, digital relationships lack the non-verbal cues, such as body language and tone, that are essential for building trust and understanding. Miscommunication is common in text-based interactions, and without the nuance of in-person connection, relationships can feel superficial and meaningless. With digital relationships, it’s easy for both sides to disregard the connection, as it has no physical impact on them. Furthermore, the edited style of online profiles allows individuals to project idealised versions of themselves (catfishing who?), resulting in distorted expectations. Face-to-face interactions provide a level of authenticity that digital communication cannot replicate or replace. College students must then navigate the balance between using this accessibility of online platforms and encouraging in-person connections.
Instagram DMs have undeniably transformed the way college students build relationships, acting as a modern alternative to traditional college mixers. They provide an accessible, flexible, and often low-pressure (no effort) way to connect with others. However, the limitations of digital interactions highlight the importance of combining online communication with offline experiences to build trust, intimacy, and lasting relationships. As technology continues to reshape how we connect, students must keep in mind the balance between the digital and physical worlds (Don’t let your Instagram models run into your gf. It’s a bad look).