Procrastination. We all do it… Some procrastinate until they become worried and just do the task at hand, others procrastinate alongside a cripplingly painful state of “oh-my-god-ill-never-get-this-done-but-I–literally-cannot-convince-myself-to-get-up-and-do-this-dear-god-why-am-I-like-this”.
So, here are some more creative ways to procrastinate, to make it seem more justified (results may vary).
1) Out Logic The Logic:
So the essay’s due in 2 days… Sure, you could start it now and get it done half and half each night, but where’s the fun in that? Make up some logic. If you stay up really late on the internet and sleep in until 5pm the next day, you’ll feel so energised that the essay will do itself in the few hours that you have left to do it! Right? Or whenever you feel even slightly tired or bored; take a nap. I mean, you can’t produce good essays if you’re tired. It’s all solid logic. And don’t forget pre and post nap snack breaks.
2) Make A Study Plan:
If you’re all slept out and are bursting with energy, make a study plan. I mean of course you could use said energy to write the essay, but imagine how smooth and productive your life will be if you make this study plan right now. Fill it with bullet points, colour codes and use a ruler for all of the tables you draw. And when you’re finished making your study plan, reward yourself with a break and pretend not to see the 2 hours of study you put yourself down for today. Bonus points if you even look at the study plan ever again.
Your desk can also double as a panic bunker when avoiding work.
3) Tick Tock:
Select a time for you to start your work. I’m going to go with 4pm. A solid study time if you ask me. Now, here’s the important part. When the clock strikes four, pretend not to see it. Even better if you actually don’t see it, that’ll take some of that back of the mind “why-am-I-lying-to-myself” guilt away. Now that its 5 past 4, you can be like “Oh darn, I’ve missed my study slot!” Then move your starting point to 5pm. Do you see where this is going? Now wash, rinse and repeat.
4) Social Media Sharer:
You’ve got the books, highlighters, pens and note pads out. It’s time to start studying. But look how pretty the books and pens look? All shiny and untouched. Grab your phone and start taking pictures. Bonus points if you sneak a cup of coffee into the corner of your picture so all of your Facebook/Instagram/twitter friends know how hard you’re working. Caffeine = productivity. Now share that baby everywhere. Make sure to use some sleepy emojis and at least 3 hashtags and 2 filters. It’ll trick people into thinking you’re actually being productive when really you don’t even drink coffee. Score!
Why not procrastinate by posing for stock photographs of people procrastinating.
5) The Adrenaline Rush:
Some say that getting all of your work done at a reasonable time at a reasonable pace is a very satisfying feeling. Maybe someday I’ll get to feel that for myself. Someday. I mean it is on the study plan that I made earlier after all. But you know what else is a damn good feeling? An adrenaline rush. And nothing gives you more adrenaline that trying to type out a 3000 word essay at 4am when it’s due at 11am after drinking 3 monsters and a red bull. I can tell you that one first hand.
6) What Else Is Due?:
Remember when you were 5 and you wanted to learn how to juggle? Or how about when you were 12 and wanted to learn how to do kick flips on a skateboard? Well now my friend, now is the perfect time. Whatever small tasks you kept putting off are going to seem much more appealing now. So bake that cake you saw on Pinterest, learn how to tie a tie and definitely start reading that book on how to recreate 2000 different knots that your Mam bought you 3 Christmases ago.
So there we have it, now you’re ready. I wish you the best of luck on your procrastinating adventures. If you want to stop procrastinating and get on with your tasks, I can tell you one sure fire way to do it. But I’m going to take a nap first, maybe get something to eat…. Meh, I’ll tell you later.
Emma Craven