By Laura Molloy
‘Twas the night before 2025. All was chaotic, and all were drunk. Local man from Cork, Finn Byrne, attended a rave with a masquerade theme. The chap was rather worried about the party having not worn any form of mask since the pandemic. However, his Da sat him down and told him about the expectations of such parties and the carry on that would be happening.
Shortly after, Finn made the trip to his local Art and Hobbey to purchase a mime mask. The fella had no time to decorate it but was positive that it would be grand. He spent the night dancing away consuming more alcohol than he had all year. One issue was pressing on his mind; his New Year’s kiss. The girl would have to be a stunner and shorter than him. Those were his biggest requirements.
Being single was only a preference.
He spent the evening searching through his drunken haze only to find his beautiful blonde just as the clock struck twelve. With no time to act he grabbed his target and kissed them with everything he had. He opened his eyes only to discover that he had infact devoured his best mate, Cian, who may have been blonde but certainly was not who Finn hoped to be kisisng.
When asked about the romantic exchange Finn said that he was “mortified” at his actions. “I’ll never be able to be seen in the local again. I can’t face Cian or anyone. His girlfriend wants to dump him. She’s convinced it was consensual,” he explained.
“Those damn masks. Nothing sexy or seductive about them. How was I meant to know it was him?”
We don’t know Finn. 15 years of friendship maybe?