By Laura Molloy
Hell broke loose in the Kehoe family on Christmas morning, when a new Ipad was left under the tree by Santa instead of skincare products from Drunk Elephant.
Ten-year-old Ellie was all set for a cracking Christmas after sending her letter to Santa weeks in advance. The letter clearly stated how the products were necessary not only for her skin, but for a stepping stone for her career as an influencer. Ellie expressed to Santa how worried she was about becoming a povo and that the products were for her survival. Her mother reassured her that she would not become a povo as her father is a partner in Arthur Cox, and they live in Rathgar.
However, Ellie was not reassured by this. Therefore she kept her original draft of the letter and sent it to the North Pole. Dissapointment would be an understatement to describe what Ellie felt on Christmas morning when she opened her new Ipad. “Who has an Ipad in 2024?” Ellie screamed while throwing wrapping paper at her parents.
When asked about the situation, Brian Kehoe stated that he felt the gentle parenting his wife had implemented for his daughter was not proving to be efficient. “She’s never heard the word no in her life. There is no discipline or consequnces in her life. I’m not sure what my wife was expecting.” When asked about how much parenting Mr Kehoe does, he replied “Ah sure I’m never at home, and when I can be I’m usually off having an affair with the secretary”. Mr Kehoe’s wife declined to comment on the matter.
When the victim of the crime was interviewed, she said that she was very concerned about returning to school after the holidays. Ellie is currently a pupil at Mount Anville Primary where she is known to be quite “the diva”. Ellie said that she “is scared for life after having no Drunk Elephant Tiktoks to show.” “Ipad kids are so out of fashion” she continued. “I’m not trying to be a 2014 Youtuber” she complained.
Ellie’s mother delivered the Drunk Elephant products to her daughter in the New Year. “Whatever keeps her quiet” Mrs Kehoe explained. “I can’t be listening to that when I’m hungover”.