Virgin Galactic CEO, Richard Branson was launched to the edge of space on Sunday morning. It is estimated that the flight reached 55 miles (88km).
Judging from the flight footage Branson had a pure ball of a time. It almost looked as if he had never had so much fun in his entire life! Here at Oxygen we were wondering why Branson looked like the happiest man in the world so we sent our Editor in the Oxygen-mobile down to Virgin Galactic’s Spaceport in the New Mexico desert.
After Branson’s shuttle came back down to Earth, he emerged from the shuttle. His forehead was glistening with sweat and his bleach blonde hair dazzled in the sun. He pranced down the stairs from the shuttle to a swarm of reporters that waited for him.
“I’m the happiest man alive right now. Why you ask? Oh well… it’s a huge achievement to be a billionaire on the back of so many people’s work that may or may not get credit for. It’s a miraculous achievement that we made it up to space! Yes, space, not the edge of space, no. I totally went up to space. And sure look, anything to get away from the wife you know! That’s the biggest contributing factor to my happiness. Woohoo!”
Branson looked like his bubble burst when his family arrived and welcomed him home with open arms.
OK, look. None of this actually happened. It was actually the hard work of our hard working writers for our satire magazine, The Spanner. Sure it’d be gas if it did happen though.