By Sarah Murnane
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in her twenties in possession of a brain will eventually be asked if she will do anal. It could be a boyfriend on his birthday, a friend on their fifth glass of wine or a snotty man in your feminist lecture, but eventually you will be asked. Thus presents the dilemma; should you?
I believe it is important to frame this debate with some context, anal sex has a long, varied history. Historians have found depictions of anal sex in artwork dating back to 510 BCE. Initially there is evidence to suggest that anal sex was considered relatively common in ancient societies, specifically the Greeks. Even in ancient times anal sex is more commonly depicted with homosexual couples but not exclusively. Artwork from 100 CE in Peru also depicts anal sex, between both homosexual and heterosexual couples. There are few things that unite humanity in such ways. Anal sex really became taboo with the invention of widespread religion. Not only did religious belief attack homosexuality but it also targeted “unnatural” sex, especially in Christianity. Anal sex was considered heretical and forbidden by the Church. These ideas about sex permeated throughout culture. Anal sex became deeply intertwined with the social understanding of homosexual activity and making the act even more taboo.
Of course people still continued to practise anal sex. Statistically the social group most likely to have anal sex is still male homosexual couples. However a study conducted in 2012 indicated that within their sample group nearly 70% of women reported engaging in anal sex in the past 90 days. Anal is not new to our society, it has however taken on a new role in our sexual conversations especially for women. Anal sex is still seen as a taboo, or risqué act but with an edge to it. It is still confined to what you see in pornography or in a dirty magazine. Not only this, but when a heterosexual woman has anal sex she is viewed differently. She is kinky, liberated and sexual. There is an element of mystique around it, anal sex is referred to as a hidden desire of men. So to weigh this up, I have highlighted what I feel are the main pros and cons of anal.
Firstly, the admin. I am lazy at the best of times, especially when it comes to sex. If you are going to have anal sex the general advice is you must follow one of two rules. Beforehand you must ‘douche’, which is a process of using a device to clean out your bum with water. Failing this, you must avoid eating for at least six hours before sexual activity. The second option does leave higher room for user error. Having to put any sort of manual labour into planning a sexual encounter just seems like a step too far for me. Secondly, while yes anal sex can be pleasurable if done correctly, most people do not do it correctly. I shall not detail all the various things that can go wrong with having anal sex, but I warn you before you google it is not pretty.
This is not to demonise the act completely. At the end of the day, a hole is a hole. Some people love anal sex, it is practised by thousands of people daily and has a community of people who push very strongly for its acceptance. Ultimately, sexual expression should be free from taboo and judgement. If anal sex is your thing and you have a great time doing it, by all means continue, this article is not for you. Anal sex can be very pleasurable for both parties. As a society I truly believe that we should work to be in a place where no sexual act is connected to hidden connotations about what kind of person you are.
The underlying implication in all the articles I have read with women and anal sex seems to be about weighing up your moral values. Are you a bad feminist if you have anal sex? Are you letting the team down? The answer is of course, no. You can do whatever you want. You should however question what is your motivation to do those things. Heterosexual men are not expected to have something large inserted in their bum for sexual pleasure if they do not want to. They are not viewed as ‘prudes’ or ‘vanilla’ if they do not want to engage in anal sex. More to the point, if you ask most men if they wanted to switch positions most would be horrified by the thought. Ultimately it comes down to a simple question so brilliantly posed in Sex and the City “will he respect you more or respect you less?”. If you have any doubts, go with your gut ladies.