By Sarah Murnane
I am going insane. Truly bonkers. As happens nearly every month right before I am supposed to get my period when my pill runs out. It sucks. There is nothing more demoralising in life than being completely fine one day and then standing holding back tears in an M&S because they don’t have the specific kind of harissa paste you enjoy. Then comes the routine thinking that because I am behaving so insane that I must be pregnant. Buy the test, take it, not pregnant, rinse and repeat. For a long time I figured that it wasn’t the hormones, I had been on the pill so long, maybe this was how I was. Then I came off the pill, and it all went away. No more anxiety, depression, PMS symptoms. I was a changed woman. This peaceful bliss could not last, as I got a boyfriend and therefore needed to go back on hormonal contraception. This is a preliminary construction of thoughts on the process for your reading pleasure.
For women, the first contraception you tend to become aware of is the pill. It is the most popular form of hormonal contraction with nearly 48% of woman in the UK on hormonal contraception and 28% use the pill. A vast amount of girls are put on hormonal contraception for reasons other than preventing pregnancy. It claims to help with your skin, level out your hormones and make your periods lighter. All of which is true for those lucky women. Then a split occurs when you start to become sexually active. Some women choose to move toward lower maintenance options like the implant, a bar inserted in your arm that releases hormones. Originally this was me, I went on the pill for heavy periods, did not notice it at all. As I got older I got worsening side effects but did not realise it was the pill until I eventually took a break.
The pill is an amazing invention, and for years it worked for me too. As I’ve gotten older however, the side effects became intense and less easy to ignore. Bummer. Got to start exploring other options. Welcome to a world of pain. I could get the implant, but that has the same hormones as the pill, so not likely to work any better. There is also a monthly injection but that has the same problem and another ream of side effects.
There is a third secret form of contraception that when I was a teenager was surrounded by mystique. The IUD or ‘the coil’. The coil is a small t-shaped device that is inserted into a woman’s uterus to prevent pregnancy. There are two types, a copper version that is non-hormonal, and a plastic version that releases hormones to stop pregnancy. This seems appealing, especially the copper version as it is non-hormonal. Little did I know after a doctor’s visit that obtaining the IUD is the worst process known to mankind. After making twenty phone calls spread out over two days to multiple clinics and no response, the future for my uterus looks bleak. I am crying in the shower again to Tom Waits albums. The IUD also is not suitable for some women who have various conditions. I am hoping I will be lucky and have no problems, but potential pain and complications are still a risk.
The worst part about all of this is that there are few alternatives. Condoms are always an option, but they are less effective than hormonal options and mistakes are bound to happen at some point. In essence if hormones make you insane unless you get the copper version of the IUD, there is not much else available. The choice is: go crazy once a month to have sex, or not have sex. Not much of a choice there. In effect, even though contraception is technically free for us and it is marketed to the female population as the best thing since sliced bread, it is still a deeply flawed process to both obtain and use it. Without constantly chasing for appointments, treatment and time, no one wants to help you. In an ideal world everyone does find something that works for them. This is my plea to anyone in a similar situation that you will figure it out. I hope anyway, updates to follow as the story progresses.