The end of October is approaching fast and with it the pressure of Halloween. For those of you who can’t afford to get completely smashed on pumpkin flavoured jelly shots, or don’t want to face the huge number of Joker- Harley Quinn couple costumes, here is a list of 7 films that will be there for you if you decide to stay in.
Don’t Breathe:
Since I was mentioning the Joker-Harley Quinn costumes that will predictably take over this Halloween, it is only fair to start this list with the film that knocked Suicide Squad off the box office charts. A group of young felons plan the robbery of the year on the house of a helpless blind man. What could go wrong? Watch the trailer to learn the answer and potentially shit yourself. It is the first film in a long time that has a clever plot line and more than decent scary moments. Not recommended for the faint of heart though.
Mama:
This mother seemingly needs to seriously improve on her moisturising regime.
Since we’re on the subject of clever plot lines, Mama definitely deserves a mention. The film combines elements of Mexican folklore (have you heard of La Llorona? Google it and prepare to be traumatised) and adds a modern twist to it. The film is suspense packed and the sudden apparitions of the ghost will definitely make you jump- and might be the incipient cause of the heart attack you’ll get in ten years’ time. If you’re not convinced yet, the film stars Jessica Chastain and is produced by Guillermo del Torro. Crimson Peak, anyone?
Amusement:
Amusement finally helps put to bed the myth that clowns are creepy.
In tune with the clown craze going on lately, this film is a reminder that you should be careful who you bully as a child, because they might turn into a crazy clown and come get you. Amusement is a very underrated film of the genre and it encompasses all the cheesiness, borderline bad acting, awesome scary moments and just the right amount of gore that characterise a good Halloween film. However, be prepared to have this crazy clown laugh stuck in your head, potentially for the rest of your life
Ghost Ship:
A movie with such an evocative title you feel like you’ve already seen it.
If suspense is not your thing, and you’re more into the gory realm of horror, this film is for you. A group of treasure hunters go to investigate this abandoned ship in the middle of the ocean. It turns out that instead of gold and money, they find a bunch of not-so-nice ghosts and the story doesn’t end too well for them. There is gore, there is suspense and there’s even a plot twist that will blow your mind! Well…not really, but it will take you by surprise. Warning! You will probably not want to eat tinned beans ever again.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose:
Anyone foolish enough to go wandering alone on a foggy moor deserves whatever comes their way.
This film is such a classic that I’m not even sure I have to sell it to you. You can opt for the original or the remake. In my experience, people have been just as fucked up by both. Prepare for some crazy head spinning, possessed thrusting, all in all traumatising shit. Nothing like the good ol’ religious trauma to spice up your Halloween night!
I Know What You Did Last Summer 1 & 2:
I know what you did last summer! You dressed as a power pop trio from the late 90’s.
Speaking of classics, I Know What You Did Last Summer is your perfect Halloween film. A group of friends do something they shouldn’t have and live (or die) to face the consequences. Now, some may tell you that you are wasting you’re time with the second one but it is actually the one that made the most impact on me. I will never forget the way this character was impaled in the head with a hook and dragged through the ceiling. Some may say that this is because I was about 11 when I watched it, but let’s not get caught on technicalities. The film is good!
Cabin in the Woods:
Chris Hemsworth has yet to become shirtless at this early stage of the film.
If you think horror films are just a horrendous waste of cinematography, then you will love this film. Why? Because it cleverly takes the piss out of all the horror films and their predictable plots. I needn’t say more, apart from this: it is directed by Joss God-of-All-Nerds Whedon and it stars Chris Hemsworth…shirtless.
*Japanese horror films get an honorary mention here. Go with whichever one strikes your fancy, you cannot fail, because the Japanese know how to create a fucked up story that will probably be an interesting subject for the therapy you’ll need afterwards.
Cristina Florescu